I am grateful to have instructors whom I both like and whom I feel comfortable approaching. It feels like I am becoming part of a small community rather than going to college. The experience is markedly different in how I feel about studying photography than when I was studying nursing prerequisites. I enjoyed many of my prerequisite classes, such as chemistry, English, statistics, and microbiology, but this is just different. I seldom feel like I am learning even though that is what I am doing every day. It is hard to say why, but it seems effortless in comparison to studying other topics even though effort is necessary in these classes.

Admittedly, I made a big decision to pursue photography rather than nursing, but so far I haven’t looked back. It is similar to when I detached from the navy, choosing not to reenlist: I never spent one day, not even one hour, regretting my decision. It seemed safer to stay in the service, but my heart was not there, so I did what I knew mattered more to me.

Although I don’t doubt I have self-motivation, I don’t tend to think of myself as ambitious. I tend to critique myself and strive to be better than to appreciate my good qualities. But a friend once described me as ambitious to my surprise. I asked why, and she explained that the fact I would shed the comfortable and the safe, to set out in a city where I knew no one, and to seek a new career in hope of a different life was ambitious and bold. (I am trying to paraphrase her as accurately to the spirit of the conversation as possible.) I had never seen it from that perspective, but I accepted it. I guess I might have seen it as she did if it had been someone else’s story rather than my own.

That is something I am also thankful for: seeing myself through another’s eyes. I wish I could see this more often and receive more open feedback from those who care about me since I often see only a few things about myself (those usually being the things I want to change about myself). I hope I take more time to consider and appreciate how much I have learned and grown over the years. For what other purpose is there to the journey of self?