I have been taking more walks these days. First it started as a way to cope, a return to a method of disconnecting from stress that I had relied on many a weekend when I lived in Monterey. Now it is seeming to become a meditative time I spend between classes or during long breaks.

Today, I took a walk to nowhere in particular, allowing myself to go wherever and through or around any building on campus. I encountered a fellow student I had not seen in while, who mouthed “Hi” and gave me a smile as we passed among others along a crosswalk. I listened to the sounds of people and cars for themselves. I meditated on the sensations of my feet, walking in the snow just to feel it crumble beneath them. I watched students board a bus as though it were the scene from a film. And I touched surfaces just to experience their texture.

Today, for a few minutes, I connected with feelings and sensations that I had dismissed to my unconscious mind. I know that I have little control in many of the outcomes in my life, but I still maintain an internal locus of control. Even if I don’t have what I want now and have found disappointment in others who I have tried to keep near to me, I can refocus my attention. I can take joy in what I can have till my life is something closer to my intention.

My joy can be found in simple things, things others might dismiss as trivial and perhaps unenjoyable, such as the sound of cars passing by. But I take joy in these simple experiences and delight in how they can preoccupy my mind. This is my private joy, and I need not explain it to anyone.