Often as a writer I pour over whether what I am writing is something that should command any attention. I reach out for the ethereal words to grasp them from the semi-opaque vapors in my mind that pass for thoughts, trying earnestly to say something significant. It is nearly inexpressible how I often feel that this is an exercise in futility: I can never say it well enough. It will fail, I fear… I believe. I even wrote an untitled poem back in early March that I posted on my personal Instagram (@prramer) that spoke to this feeling of inevitable failure at words.
feelings
Alone
ScratchpadPresent, living, seeing
Citizen but stranger
Unknown, insignificant
As I Am
ScratchpadIt is gentle, soft, and white
And tender, vulnerable, and pink
Full of uncertainty but comfortable
I ask for nothing, expecting nothing
Yet there may be a home here for my soul
My heart is thankful for small gestures
I don’t know when I have ever felt so welcome
To … Continue reading
Spinning Out
ScratchpadSpinning
Spinning ’round
The earth, my head
It just won’t stop
Stay put; let me collect myself
Where are you?
I thought it was supposed to be different
That we were different
Who am I supposed to be?
It’s just no good
We’re just spinning
Spinning out of control
Something Beautiful
ScratchpadA yearning to fulfill
And a longing to create
Desiring to satisfy this want
Finding new peace in letting go
Writer's JournalThere is a newfound peace in letting go, being free inside once again. Once I was the prisoner to the unrequited affection I had to one I called my friend. Hard, so terribly hard, it was to accept that it was unbalanced, that I cared, and showed more care, than I received. The silence and neglect was unbearable, but the day came when I finally took my mother’s advice to release her, to accept that my friend she was no longer.
Overlooked
ScratchpadThis is what I feared would happen
And didn’t want to happen
But did happen
I allowed myself to see possibilities
To develop feelings and grow attached
But the possibility was snatched
And fate rudely substituted
Heartache for my hope
And tears for my happiness
I will confess
I want … Continue reading