An especially exhausting day

Writer's Journal

I am at that point today where I feel like I should just cry, and maybe that would be best. Today was exhausting and yet there are things I still need to work on for my classes so I don’t fall behind. I can’t help but feel like I just want to disconnect for a few hours and then go to bed.

Although some both fun and funny things happened today in the studio, the session went too long and was tiring. I didn’t sleep enough for my needs last night and the night prior, so I was tired once I arrived to school. When the studio session was over and everything put away, I felt like going home even though I still needed to make a silver gelatin print for a competition I am want to enter before the deadline on Wednesday.

Grateful for taking the less certain path

Writer's Journal

I am grateful to have instructors whom I both like and whom I feel comfortable approaching. It feels like I am becoming part of a small community rather than going to college. The experience is markedly different in how I feel about studying photography than when I was studying nursing prerequisites. I enjoyed many of my prerequisite classes, such as chemistry, English, statistics, and microbiology, but this is just different. I seldom feel like I am learning even though that is what I am doing every day. It is hard to say why, but it seems effortless in comparison to studying other topics even though effort is necessary in these classes.

My private joy

Writer's Journal

I have been taking more walks these days. First it started as a way to cope, a return to a method of disconnecting from stress that I had relied on many a weekend when I lived in Monterey. Now it is seeming to become a meditative time I spend between classes or during long breaks.

Today, I took a walk to nowhere in particular, allowing myself to go wherever and through or around any building on campus. I encountered a fellow student I had not seen in while, who mouthed “Hi” and gave me a smile as we passed among others along a crosswalk. I listened to the sounds of people and cars for themselves. I meditated on the sensations of my feet, walking in the snow just to feel it crumble beneath them. I watched students board a bus as though it were the scene from a film. And I touched surfaces just to experience their texture.

Am I the Art?

Writer's Journal

Saturday evening I was feeling down from a recent disappointment in my life; thus being me, I wrote poetry to work out my feelings. I plugged my headphones into my phone, started up the Pandora app on my phone, and the first song to play was B. J. Thomas’s “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head.” Given that I had just had a relationship disappointment, I found this song uncannily fitting to my feelings. Because of this, I decided I wanted to record that this song played, and thus I took a screenshot of it.