It is gentle, soft, and white
And tender, vulnerable, and pink
Full of uncertainty but comfortable
I ask for nothing, expecting nothing
Yet there may be a home here for my soul
My heart is thankful for small gestures
I don’t know when I have ever felt so welcome
To … Continue reading
Spinning
Spinning ’round
The earth, my head
It just won’t stop
Stay put; let me collect myself
Where are you?
I thought it was supposed to be different
That we were different
Who am I supposed to be?
It’s just no good
We’re just spinning
Spinning out of control
This is what I feared would happen
And didn’t want to happen
But did happen
I allowed myself to see possibilities
To develop feelings and grow attached
But the possibility was snatched
And fate rudely substituted
Heartache for my hope
And tears for my happiness
I will confess
I want … Continue reading
Today I emerge from the tunnel. I sought a hope and failed. Now I acknowledge I have no control and accept my failure.
This time was not as bad as the the last one. Only three months had I spent this time compared to the six months the time before. My speed at discernment is increasing: I no longer hope against the hopelessness and wait. I allow for deficiencies, but once the pattern is set, I cease to believe.